SELF-CONFIDENCE

Self-Confidence comes from self-worth. When you know who you are and what you bring to the table, it’s easier to feel confident in any situation. We often gain confidence when we have established a track record of certain achievements through our education or work history. How many women are confident in themselves just by being a woman? This is our greatest fault. We lack confidence in being woman.

What is the value of a woman to society, to herself, to her family, to the planet? What if women became distinct? What if women stopped caring for the gardens, cooking hot meals, healing the sick, making babies! You are a woman, a part of society that the other half cannot live without! How precious and valuable does that make you as a woman!

You are the light to the world, just as the sun is the light to our planet. Our planet has no light of its own, it depends upon the sun for light, for growing things. The world depends upon you as a woman to shed your light upon society, upon the human race. Without you, there would be no happiness, no joy in the world, no flowers, no color.

Realize that you were born a woman and your only responsibility is to be the greatest woman you can be by living your best life. If you live your best life, everything and everyone around you will be nurtured, will grow and flourish!

When you are living your best life, you will automatically hold your head up high and walk with confidence, speak with confidence and present yourself to the world as an empowered woman. You will be a role model for other women and lead the way for young girls to step into womanhood with grace, dignity and honor.

Self-Confidence comes from the inside out. It is displayed in the way you look, speak and respond to life. Lets begin by answering these questions:

LOOK: (What you are wearing or how you look on the outside has nothing to do with self-confidence, it’s how you see yourself that makes the difference)

·        How much energy do I put into worrying about how others see me?  

·        How do I see myself?

·        Is my posture straight when walking, standing, sitting?

·        Is my handshake firm and confident?

·        Do I make eye contact with strangers?

SPEAK: (It’s not so much what you say, it more about “how” you say it that counts)

·        Am I clear when I speak, or do I often stumble or hesitate?

·        If I don’t know something, do I pretend to know anyway?

·        Do I project when I speak, or speak softly?

·        Am I loud and overbearing when I talk?

·        Do I have a need to be “right” all the time?

·        Do I interrupt others to get my point across?

·        Do I speak my truth or say what I think others want to hear?

RESPOND: (It’s not what happens to you in life, it’s how you respond to it that matters most)

·        How do I respond when little things go wrong?

·        How do I respond when big things go wrong?

·        How do I respond when a friend or family member has an urgent need?

·        How do I respond to confrontations or verbal abuse?

·        Do I have a need to “rescue” people?

·        Do I respond to other's needs before tending to my own?

·        Do I let people get away with things in order to keep the peace?

           

Note the items above that you would like to work on or change in order to feel and express more self-confidence as a woman. Realize that what makes anything good or bad, is how you perceive it to be. So speaking loudly and being what some would consider overbearing, is not a bad thing if this is who you are and you feel confident as a woman with this particular behavior. Never apologize for being yourself. The above questions are simply a guideline for you to become more aware of how you are and how you present yourself to the world. If you realize there are certain patterns that prevent you from feeling fully self-confident about yourself, you can begin to do something about them. Change your thoughts and change your reality.

Life is good - all the time!

Tapping Into Your Inner Wisdom

Greetings,

I've been working with the women here in Asheville at the Steadfast House, a transition home for women who are trying to find their way again. I'm taking them through a four week mini-Women's Empowerment Program. These women are absolutely AMAZING. I did an exercise with them on Thursday night for tapping into your inner wisdom for guidance. I had them focus on their goals, then partner up and decide who would be A and who would be B. The A person would simply listen and take notes. The B person would go within, focus on A's goal, and just start throwing out words and phrases that came to mind about the goal. The results were amazing. A lot of clarity, insight and wisdom we revealed. This just goes to show that even in times when you are at your lowest, even without a home to call your own, you still have something deep within you that knows the way. It's always easier to access that place to help others, but we can always focus that energy toward helping ourselves as well.

Try this exercise with a friend. Remember, the one who is taking notes is not allowed to talk or say anything, not even nod - just write. The one speaking is not allowed to judge the information received, just say whatever comes up.  Have fun with it!

Join me in January for two powerful 12-week online courses, Embracing Your Power, and The Inner Wisdom Workshop offered through the Queen Academy. Register at $195 and receive a personal one-on-one Coaching Session with me, plus one month access to both courses, or register for either one of the courses for only $48 a month and receive the tools for learning to access your deeper inner wisdom, or becoming a more empowered woman, gaining the clarity, confidence and courage to change your life.

Remember, registration deadline is December 15^th for the January quarter so don't procrastinate - sign up today at http://r20.rs6.net/tn.jsp?llr=bqutobcab&et=1108946732315&s=0&e=001aRS4owq8w653Pf4RsdUF8OkfcY-l_3yf2LNH6fWv3nVmN3cHIHDZ55WzJv60AxiOgjDwz7l-hmVf1sFPlKDD13h9p4dQ_n6xLUlKz3JXOI7NXsXzPVP11JeRIh23mV0F.

Love,

Wanda

Remembering Yolanda King

Wednesday, November 17^th, is my dear friend Yolanda King’s birthday. She made her transition to the other side in May of 2007, a little over 4 years ago. Still seems unreal that she is gone. She was a BIG supporter of the Inner Peace Circles, and loved the work. One of the greatest things I learned from Yolanda King was to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. So instead of declaring someone wrong right away, I’ve learned by her example to step back and question what’s possible.  In honor of my friend Yolanda King, I invite you to question what’s possible, not only in your conversations with others, but in your life – what’s possible?

How to Say No to Your Mother

An Exercise in Establishing Healthy Boundaries.

One of the things I do as a Coach for Women, is help them establish healthy boundaries.  It would take patience and time for them to really get it and to uphold those boundaries from a place of love and integrity.  Not just self-love, but for love of the other person and love for the situation. 

Well, a few years ago I found a shortcut!  My youngest son (age 31 at the time), would do ANYTHING for me. Grant it, I never asked for much. This one day he was in my office just visiting before going to his night job. I asked if he would come by the house the next evening and help me move a piece of furniture. The look on his face stunned me. You would think I had just asked for his first born.  He said, “ah man, does it have to be tomorrow?” I said yeap, I really needed it done right away, what’s up?  With head hung down, he said, “I just can’t do it tomorrow.” He went on, painfully, telling me that because he worked nights, and his wife worked days, they only had a few hours of quality time together each day and that was really important to him.

I was so proud of my baby boy standing up to his mama.  I could see how painful that was for him to say, “no” to me so I told him I’d find another way, and what an amazing man he has become to put his wife and family first. He could have easily made up any other excuse, but he didn’t. He said no and owned it. 

This reminded me of how painful it was the first time I said no to my mother. It was a conscious choice. She lived alone, only a few blocks away, and would call me often to run to the store for her. I had a family to care for and her continued request to run errands was becoming a problem. I mustered up the courage – took a few months – and one day, she called and I said, no. She asked why and I told her I was busy – no details, just busy. She was highly upset but got recovered by the next day.  It became easier and easier for me to manage my time and tell her no when I needed to.

Once it was easy to say no to my mother, everyone else was a piece of cake! When was the last time you LOVINGLY denied a request from your mother?

If you have trouble with boundaries, I assure you this exercise will help:

1.      Get really CLEAR about what you don’t want to do, or don’t like doing.

2.      Make a list of those things you don’t want to do - things people may be expecting of you.

3.      Focus on the first item on your list, take a deep breath in, get still, relax, now pretend your mother asking you to do it.

4.      Image yourself LOVINGLY saying, “I wish I could, but I just can’t do that right now.” Don’t worry if you need to justify it, sweeten it up, tell a story, or whatever – just say no in whatever way you are able in the moment.

5.      Now go down your list and repeat this exercise with each item on your list.

You will get so good at LOVINGLY saying no, that the “reasons” will fade away and all that will be left is, “No,” without the bs, without the guilt, without hesitation. And wala – boundaries installed for good.

En-joy and Inner Peace,

Wanda Marie